A Break from Blogging

I think I am a little late posting this but, I am taking a break from blogging. :) I have a lot going on right now, which means the next blogs I post should be juicy. (ha ha) I hope everyone is doing well!!!!!!!!!!!

The Shack by William P. Young
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Shack by William P. Young was a phenomenal soul searching and spiritual experience for me. This is the kind of book that pulled me in and had me thinking about things I haven't thought of in a while. At first I was repelled by this book since I assumed his daughter is murdered after reading the brief synopisis on the back but, I read so many great reviews about how "powerful" the book was so I decided to give it a shot and I am glad I did!
This is one of those books that both changed and awakened something inside of me. I really enoyed it. Some parts brought tears to my eyes and other parts I was moved to set the book down and really think...
Even though I was raised to not believe in the trinity I have an open mind and am still making sense of the scriptures in my own way..but, I didn't feel the book was preachy I thoroughly enjoyed it and feel that everyone, christian beliefs or not, can take something meaningful away from this book.
I posted one of my favorite quotes by William P. Young from the book on my profile (although their are many many more favorite passages from this book)since my favorite scripture in the bible is referenced. Papa (God) is speaking to Mack when he says, "Mackenzie, this world is full of tears, but if you remember I promised that it would be Me who would wipe them from your eyes." Revelations 21:4 is my favorite scripture so that made me smile. :)
I definitely recommend this book!!!!!!!

View all my reviews

It's time to let go



*This piece of art is an oil painting by one of  my favorite artists, Audrey Kawasaki. This oil painting is called, My Dishonet Heart.


I desperately want a few people to know that I do not shame them. I just think it is better that we are not in each others lives-if not just for now then forever. But, I do love them and wish them the best life has to offer.
But, how do you tell someone that?...you can't.

Reconciling differences can be a touchy emotional process.
Proceed with caution!
The outcome may or may not be the one you hoped for.

I have come to the point of feeling like the only conversation I can have about them can be with god since I can't speak to them directly and it's a horrible feeling. Not confiding in god of coarse, but knowing to much time has passed by to re-open old wounds or arguments and re-establish trust in a relationship.

When I stop talking to someone and shut them out of my life I feel as if (later on after the fact when I've healed and calmed down) I meant to shame them initially and that is not fair because we all deserve forgiveness.  This is what Jesus taught us-it's not my rule. But, because of his teachings and sacrifice for us human beings it is what is in my heart. 

I want to forgive and I do forgive but, I can't tell certain people this because I feel like the radio silence has gone on for far to long. The past has been buried in the PAST, simply put. But, I still do pray on it from time to time.

I've learned from my own wrong doing, repentance and desire for forgiveness that I am no longer capable of feeling that it is right for me to shame someone by cutting them off without making myself clear.

I have had to learn the hard way that forgiveness should be granted internally and externally as soon as possible (whether or not a future relationship will continue) because when the moment to tell someone you forgive them (or say your sorry) passes you by it can eat away at your conscience later on.  I will make many more mistakes in my life as an imperfect human being but, I will never make this mistake again. 

I will be assertive and say what I feel in the moment. I want a true honest life and relationship with no more unspoken words or thoughts hanging in the air like an evil-energy draining dark cloud.  Let love in and the bad, the evil, the hate...let it all go and sooner than later!


*The artwork I posted is an oil painting by one of  my favorite artists, Audrey Kawasaki. This oil painting is called, My Dishonest Heart.

"I guess I am realizing that is just how time works..."

I can't believe it is already March 8th, 2012.
As usual I am up at about 3 something in the morning feeling like a loser because I wasted my day off yesterday and didn't get anything productive done besides read a book and this book addiction of mine has most definitely become counter productive since I use it to avoid my reality-well to escape it rather. But, their are worse addictions. :)

You know, I should be praying myself to sleep instead...praying to god to help me grow up and guide me towards getting my life togehter.

I am 24 years old feeling guilty about smoking a ciggarette right now while writing in my journal like a 16 year old teenager.  I just finished watching, My Best Friends Wedding, (which is a great movie) on a VHS tape I purchased from the goodwill down the street while my sister is passed out sleeping like a baby in my room with pink painted walls. I carefuly put the VHS tape back in the box and noticed the movie was released in 1997-that means it has been out for 16 years!!

I find that outrageous and shocking since movie stars seem to only age by the decade to me, not by the year. I remember I liked that movie when I spotted it at the checkout counter while purchsing my ten dollar TV/VHS set for my room with my measley waitressing tips. But, watching it this time around I loved it so much more because I actually fully understood what was going on and the deeper meaning behind Julia Roberts character and motivation when she realizes her fear of commitment has made her miss out on the love of a life-time. I thought it was just a "good" movie when I watched it when I was younger-now 16 years later, as a grown woman, I realize it is actually a fabulous movie.

I guess I am realizing that is just how time works...and it got me to thinking what do I have to look forward to at 28 (the age Julia Roberts plays in the movie). I'm hoping I will be light years away from my current lack of life success by then. But, I hope my sister (although I will be financialy stable by then living in my own place) will still not be to far from me. :)

Tropical Adventures

I have the travel bug. My dad used to tell me stories about his travels throughout the U.S. and how he went to Europe for a while as well before he settled down and started his family and I hung on every word. I've always thought about how I want to travel and where I would go if I had the money and time. I remember when I was a young pre-teen I purchased, 1000 Places to Visit Before You Die by Patricia Schultz. You can check it out on Amazon.com. I read every single page of that book and fell in love.I have always been interested in other cultures, languages and beautiful artifacts, ruins, wildlife and scenery native to other places on this earth. But, even in my own backyard, wherever I am living or visiting at the time, I have found some beautiful hiking trails offering a glimpse of a tranquil waterfall or a beautiful majestic view at the top of a mountain trail. I just enjoy exploring period and taking in new sights and experiences.

 I hope that one day I will be able to realize my dream and travel a whole lot more than I have been able too. I am the kind of person that would love to travel for a job and put the love, romance and babies on hold. (Not that I think you can't have a family or spouse if you want to travel for work but, I am just emphasizing the fact that, at this point in my life, I choose travel over everything else :) I met a lovely lady who played my mother in a play I was cast in last December and she works as a flight attendant for Delta. She recently sent me some information on how to apply and what to expect as a flight attendant. I think I am going to look into this career move soon. Especially since now I know I can still work around my school schedule. I also would love to fly for free and have the opportunity to write about my travel experiences.

But, the main purpose of this blog was to talk about, Tropical Adventures. I vaguely remembered a friend telling me that one of her creative partners was re-locating to Costa Rica so I decided to google, "moving to and visiting Costa Rica", one day out of boredom. I usually look up images of sunsets, waterfalls and mountains etc. in Hawaii when I am in the mood to fantasize that I am on vacation somewhere. But, I was blown away by the photos taken in Costa Rica. SO BEAUTIFUL!

I found a website that profiled expats who made Costa Rica their new home and I came across one about a man who moved to Costa Rica from California after visiting and being charmed by the friendly people that lived there. He started tropical adventures after he re-located. I followed a link to the website and immediately I was in love when I read the headline on the homepage, Tropical Adventures: Self Discovery Through Exploration.

Two of my favorite things in the world, exploring and personal growth! My jaw dropped and I eagerly read up on all the different programs they had.Travelers and volunteers can either stay at the Tropical Adventures center or they can stay with a host family. The point is to help out by volunteering while at the same time giving yourself a chance to really experience this different culture, practice the language and take part in fulfilling exciting work in a beautiful paradise-like setting.
Some of the volunteer, volontour and other tourist opportunities they have are: Osa In-Water Sea Turtle Project, Reptile and Animal Rescue Center, Family Travel, Group Travel, Indigenous Project, Ostional Sea Turtle Project, Day-care and Nutritional Center, Wildlife Rescue Center, Barra Honda National Park, Hojancha Art and Music, University Rep Program and Intern Opportunities.

I love the idea of taking part in a "cultural enrichment" volontour experience in another country-in another EXOTICALLY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY! :)
I know that it may not be this year, but I am definitely going to make it to Costa Rica so I can participate and take part in this experience. I am so grateful for the internet!

Staying Optimistic During the Dark Days

    I would like to think that I am a pretty optimistic and rational person, but just like most other people sometimes I temporarily loose my mind in private. I am exaggerating here a little bit of coarse.
But, I find it natural every now and then to just let all the negative emotions and anxieties out of my system so I am not overcome by them completely. In all actuality  I really am a hopeful person and I know that things just end up working out the way they are meant to and maintaing a positive attitude makes all the difference. I don't mean to sound like a Disney movie but, this is really what I feel in my heart.But, still, back to the private breaking down episodes.

    I'm talking about before I go to bed when I end up lying awake for five hours thinking about every possible negative thing going on in my life and which negative thing I think may jeopardize my future. I am referring to the silent and awkward bus rides, doctors office waiting rooms or grocery store lines that give me the time to zone out and hell dream myself senseless until all I want to do is go home and stay in bed for the rest of the day or until I  have to show up at work again and pretend everything is alright.

    Yes, dwelling on current problems is not healthy but, I think we all have our days.
I have been going through some particularly rough times. But, I would not say I am depressed or discouraged. I am just ready to start living my life. I feel tied down and I want to break free so bad. But, baby steps...
I am slowly taking care of the things I need too in order to work towards realizing my goals, I just need to work on my patience and not worry about the things I cannot control.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

Anyways, I have come up with a list of things I can do to keep me distracted and feeling positive/productive whenever I have the urge to dwell on my current problems/set-backs or have trouble being patient that everything will fall into place and get better.

1)Practice my Spanish (because I am spending several weeks in Costa Rica someday where i will learn how to surf at, chica surf, the only all girls surf school in Costa Rica.)

2)Read (because I love reading, it improves vocabulary and writing. Also, some books can improve and literally change your life! :)

3)Work on writing my book (My dream is to become a published author after-all!)

4) Work out ( I have been post-poning channeling my self-discipline to reach my fitness goals for a long time now. I also would like to look like a fitness model when I go to Costa Rica and learn how to surf. :) ha ha

So, their you have it! I just listed four positive and inexpensive ways for me to pass the time and feel like I did something productive with my day instead of wallowing in self-pity or pouting because I don't have everything I want right now.
Besides, these are just my dog days and the journey the dog days has to offer me will make some great stories later in life when I've reached my next destination.

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

Okay, I know I have already posted three of my goodreads reviews on my blog for the Hunger Games trilogy, but I just have to post one more blog detailing just how much I love this series! First of all, I wanted to bring out the fact that the effects of war in this fictitious novel is not so far off from what people are experiencing today in third world countries or presently in Syria. The effects of war, whether it is two waring nations or a civil war against a dictatorship, is very real and hard to imagine for me. I wouldnt go as far as saying that we live in a sheltered society here in the U.S., especially after what happend on 9/11, but their are other countries that deal with war in their own backyards instead of only on their television sets. I have never really thought about how it would really affect me if I was born certain times in different parts of the world instead of in 1987 in the U.S. That is, until I read the Hunger Games Trilogy.You really start to think about what you would do in certain life or death situations and the kind of society that could put their own children through what they did in the bloody ritual Suzanne Collins created in this story. I also found it interesting that her inspiration for the book came from channel surfing between the reality TV channels and coverage on the war in Iraq. That makes this book even more special to me because it explains why I could just become completely in tune with what was going on. I felt it was telling a timeless tale of war and fighting for the freedom of a nation but, at the same time their was a modern almost pop-culture part of my brain that was satisfied and instantly in tune with the way the story was written. I also enjoyed the negative spin on reality TV and how it could be used for mindless meaningless entertainment in the book or for cruel cryptic messages and influence as well. I will definitely be re-reading these books before each movie is released. I can't wait to see the movie and I really hope they live up to the realism and gore (even though sad at sometimes) and make a great movie adaptation! If you have not read this book you definitely should stop by the book store and just open it. I promise you won't be able to leave the store without it!