It's time to let go



*This piece of art is an oil painting by one of  my favorite artists, Audrey Kawasaki. This oil painting is called, My Dishonet Heart.


I desperately want a few people to know that I do not shame them. I just think it is better that we are not in each others lives-if not just for now then forever. But, I do love them and wish them the best life has to offer.
But, how do you tell someone that?...you can't.

Reconciling differences can be a touchy emotional process.
Proceed with caution!
The outcome may or may not be the one you hoped for.

I have come to the point of feeling like the only conversation I can have about them can be with god since I can't speak to them directly and it's a horrible feeling. Not confiding in god of coarse, but knowing to much time has passed by to re-open old wounds or arguments and re-establish trust in a relationship.

When I stop talking to someone and shut them out of my life I feel as if (later on after the fact when I've healed and calmed down) I meant to shame them initially and that is not fair because we all deserve forgiveness.  This is what Jesus taught us-it's not my rule. But, because of his teachings and sacrifice for us human beings it is what is in my heart. 

I want to forgive and I do forgive but, I can't tell certain people this because I feel like the radio silence has gone on for far to long. The past has been buried in the PAST, simply put. But, I still do pray on it from time to time.

I've learned from my own wrong doing, repentance and desire for forgiveness that I am no longer capable of feeling that it is right for me to shame someone by cutting them off without making myself clear.

I have had to learn the hard way that forgiveness should be granted internally and externally as soon as possible (whether or not a future relationship will continue) because when the moment to tell someone you forgive them (or say your sorry) passes you by it can eat away at your conscience later on.  I will make many more mistakes in my life as an imperfect human being but, I will never make this mistake again. 

I will be assertive and say what I feel in the moment. I want a true honest life and relationship with no more unspoken words or thoughts hanging in the air like an evil-energy draining dark cloud.  Let love in and the bad, the evil, the hate...let it all go and sooner than later!


*The artwork I posted is an oil painting by one of  my favorite artists, Audrey Kawasaki. This oil painting is called, My Dishonest Heart.