"I guess I am realizing that is just how time works..."

I can't believe it is already March 8th, 2012.
As usual I am up at about 3 something in the morning feeling like a loser because I wasted my day off yesterday and didn't get anything productive done besides read a book and this book addiction of mine has most definitely become counter productive since I use it to avoid my reality-well to escape it rather. But, their are worse addictions. :)

You know, I should be praying myself to sleep instead...praying to god to help me grow up and guide me towards getting my life togehter.

I am 24 years old feeling guilty about smoking a ciggarette right now while writing in my journal like a 16 year old teenager.  I just finished watching, My Best Friends Wedding, (which is a great movie) on a VHS tape I purchased from the goodwill down the street while my sister is passed out sleeping like a baby in my room with pink painted walls. I carefuly put the VHS tape back in the box and noticed the movie was released in 1997-that means it has been out for 16 years!!

I find that outrageous and shocking since movie stars seem to only age by the decade to me, not by the year. I remember I liked that movie when I spotted it at the checkout counter while purchsing my ten dollar TV/VHS set for my room with my measley waitressing tips. But, watching it this time around I loved it so much more because I actually fully understood what was going on and the deeper meaning behind Julia Roberts character and motivation when she realizes her fear of commitment has made her miss out on the love of a life-time. I thought it was just a "good" movie when I watched it when I was younger-now 16 years later, as a grown woman, I realize it is actually a fabulous movie.

I guess I am realizing that is just how time works...and it got me to thinking what do I have to look forward to at 28 (the age Julia Roberts plays in the movie). I'm hoping I will be light years away from my current lack of life success by then. But, I hope my sister (although I will be financialy stable by then living in my own place) will still not be to far from me. :)